Death at Sea

I just wanted a simple vacation. It wasn’t often that I got off work, but I liked to make time for myself despite this. It so happened that I set up something special for this vacation, a cruise among tropical islands, plenty of sun and refreshing smoothies. It was the vacation that my old body longed for, but of course, somebody had to ruin it with that tired question.
“Hey, aren’t you Death?”
“Sigh.”

I ignored the question and continued along the line of people. However, this woman was insistent on talking with me. She raised her hand and tapped the slight edge of my spine, both to get my attention and to see if the bone was real. Once more, I ignored the rudeness, pulling the collar up on my Hawaiian shirt to indicate I did not appreciate that.
Luckily, she did indeed give up when one of the crewmen walked past, attracted by the commotion that she was creating. She withdrew her hand and played innocent, like they always did. Collecting my things I moved on to inspection and it was an unsurprisingly quick inspection. With a smile that most could not see I found my way to my cabin and breathed the sea air in. The bed and pillows were so lovingly set out for me with a little chocolate on the pillows. It was a shame I couldn’t have sugar nowadays, it didn’t agree with the teeth.
I sat myself down on the end of my bed to a chorus of cracking bones. I groaned with age, but more cracking just smothered it. There was a time where my bones would just work with each other, but it seems they have grown to work against one another. Clutching my back I arched backwards till it made a satisfying pop and I fell back onto the bed. The impact was slight, but enough to pop the chocolate into the air and fall into one of my eye sockets. It rolled around the inside of my skull like a tin-foil hitch-hiker, but I was too relaxed to care.
An hour passed and the ship droned a horn that signaled departure. I could people in neighboring cabins cheering, saluting their victories in life that led them here. Once more we waited till they gave the signal to move around on ship. I marched out to the upper deck, wearing my favourite Bermuda shorts and straw-hat I had bought at a stand recently. Once atop the ship with a few selections of people I found myself a spot on a lounging chair and broke out a small…romance…novel to enjoy the day with.
For a moment I felt it; that wonderful feeling of tension being loosened in the joins the ability to breathe a little more clearly. I didn’t exactly have a tight schedule when it came to work; in fact people often preferred it when I was late. However, the constant traveling and scythe swinging plated hell with my spirit, which is why I had Conquest take over for me. She was charming enough to do so, but I did warn her that the job would be a tough one for the next couple of days. Her chipper attitude wasn’t dampened in the slightest, the beauty of youth.
Once more, my moment of respite was interrupted, but this time by another supposed ‘beauty of youth’. A small child, long off from her recall date, staring up at me bewildered and curious. I knew what was about to happen, so I preemptively struck. I turned to the child slowly, my skill creaking on my bony neck, empty sockets staring down at the young girl, growing more fearful of me by the second until my jaw dropped and a chocolate rolled along the bottom my mouth, stopped by my bottom teeth. Immediately the child brightened itself with a smile and I collected the chocolate from my mouth.
“You can have it if you promise to leave me along, deal?” I asked the young girl.
She nodded enthusiastically and murmured something in her slurred speech. I handed her the instrument of my teeth’s demise and she ran away. My sockets once more focused on the pages. As the story went on my teeth began to grit against one another. The heroine was flirting dangerously close to the wrong man, but his allure was too much. My non-existent heart pounded as she caressed his fine skeleton, her long wavy hair flowing in the softest breeze. For a moment the two stared at each other casually, but the next they were drowning in each other’s eyes. The two leaned closer towards one another and ever so slowly turned their heads a touch to press their teeth upon the others.
“Excuse me, but are you..?” a question began. My mouth puffed heated breath and I turned towards the voice. “…Adrien Brody?”
I stared at the man with my emptiest looks.
“Yes,” I told him.
“I knew it! Can I have an autograph?”
The tourist held out a pad and pen and I happily forged a signature for him. He took it back happily and his smile drooped for a moment.
“Huh, I would have thought it was Adrian with an ‘e’,” the man pondered.
“A common mistake,” I replied. “Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
“Oh, don’t worry; I will leave you to your…reading…”
The man glanced at the book strangely and did indeed leave me to a peaceful read. My eyes returned to the book. The heroine pulled the man closer in the moment of passion, both captured in each other’s love for one another, but hers was false. She knew she could never marry the skeleton of killer, but the thought allured her as well as repelled her. He held carefully, but was sure to move his hands up her back, bobbing with her ribs the way she enjoyed. It was now or never, she lowered her hands and clutched his pelvis bone.
“Sir, do you mind not biting your…finger tips? The noise is a little distracting,” a tourist lounging next to me asked.
“Oh, sorry, I will stop,” I told him, my non-existent cheeks blushing heavily.
I enjoyed the day, finishing the book with a gooey sigh and bleach white bones.