Inner Demon

​Everyone had a part of themselves hidden from the rest of the world. More often than not, this was a good thing, but there were a few exceptions where the world would better off if these people wore their hearts on their sleeves. Sarah, a young woman closed away in her cubicle, was such a woman. She had a deeper kindness and desire for love deep inside her, but this to her was a weakness better left off hidden rather than revealed.

​Sarah worked for a corporation that thrived on people like her. There was a strength in those that spent their time working and coldly denying invitations to co-workers parties. Those people who had a meaningful social life were left behind and lacked the resolve to meet their ambition anway. Sarah soon reached a deadline nobody could was immediately promoted to a role of leadership in the company.

Sarah, who on the surface desired a higher rank in the company, found that this was far more difficult than working with the numbers and calculations. She, by the end of her first day, was so ready to fire so many people. However, there was a soft voice inside of her that told her that she didn’t have the heart to fire these people. The workers may not be as dedicated as her, but they were surely the backbone of the company as well as good people.

Still, Sarah felt that it was better not to listen to that voice and fired as many as she thought necessary. The result ended up being a terrific disaster. Her division slowly lost its strength until it ended up losing more money than it was making. The people higher than her were angry that she could lead such an inferior division and fired her on the spot. The voice returned and told her that she lost her job and probably the greatest chance she had to make friends.

Sarah, still holding an angry energy and fierce ambition, returned to her home and began her own work. She laboured through night and day until she was making money from her own business. In the months to come this business grew to such an extent that she could no longer keep up with demand. The little voice, as patient as it was, told her to hire strong people, not ambitious ones. People like her would treat her no different from the way she treated the common worker.

Sarah snapped at her ‘inner demon’ and hired the most experienced and ambitious people she met. If they didn’t hold the same aggression within their heart as she did they would not get the job. After several weeks of hiring she had a small team despite the hundreds she met. This team did indeed worked hard and for a moment the company began to flourish, but these workers desired greater salaries and higher positions.

There were no rewards or greater tasks that Sarah could give them and soon the employees realized this. Each and every one left her business to start one of their on. There soon came too much competition while her business  began to fall behind with the lack of employees. Sarah went home after closing the business down sat in her room wondering how things could keep going wrong for her despite all the work and effort she put into what she did.

It was now that she began to listen to the soft voice and start a conversation with it.

“Why...just tell me why I cannot find my place in this world?” Sarah asked.

“There is a place for everyone in this world, but you cannot expect people to help you find it,” the soft voice told her. “You must make it for yourself.”

“But I did that. I made my own way and I got so far.”

“You didn’t make anything except people angry. You tried to force them to accept you, but you know as well as I do that in doing so you only turned them more away from you.”

“I cannot talk to them the way you want me too. There was so much I had to do to get where I got...I could not act like them.”

“You needed to if you wanted to go any further.”

Sarah grew frustrated with the conversation and fell back onto her bed. Ever so slowly she gave in and asked the voice what she should to make it, to become happy.

“You need what you have always needed,” the voice told her. “You are working towards some reward that is beyond money and fame, but no company is giving you it, you’re not giving it to yourself either. You need love, Sarah, love that is honest, but the only way to receive love is to give it out in return, especially when some gives it to you.”

Sarah listened and in an attempt she left home the next day to find love. It was difficult at first, difficult to start a conversation with a stranger, difficult to make them smile, difficult not to feel scared. As the day went on she confronted so many aspects of herself that she had been ignoring for so long. There were people in her life that offered her love, but it was not honest. These people were long gone and she was distrustful of people, afraid of making the same mistake.

However, she knew there was true friendship out there; true love. It wasn’t until she sat down at the park, exhausted from her fruitless walk, that she realized this and smiled. A woman sat beside her, with a dog leash in her hand and small, smiling dog on the other end.

“Dumb looking thing, ain’t it?” the woman asked.

“It looks happy,” Sarah replied with a chuckle. “What is it?”

“I’m not sure really. The way it behaves and walks tells me it might be a cross between a pug and a loaf of bread.”
“How romantic.”

This woman would become Sarah’s first, but not last friend. The voice no longer spoke to her on such matters. She listened to all it told her and that was all she ever needed to do.