Losing Oneself

The cave to most was simply just a cave. Nothing more than rock formation, made with the rising tide. A mountain cut by water, scarred. Today, it would be the place where I lose myself. The place that would take me further than any other place. There was more to this world and I would only discover it inside that cave.

I was given the go ahead from a techy who sat ashore in a security shed. With that green light I swam underneath the lip and found the entrance to the cave. It wasn’t hard considering the glowing, blue light, which radiated from inside, illuminated the entrance perfectly.

Following the lines of wondrous light, my head broke the surface to the water and I was bathed in splendid radiance. Climbing onto the black, wet rock, I found myself surrounded by rock that reflected all around it perfectly. If you ever been in a room of mirrors you find it can be stretched to a massive degree. In a cave where every inch of surface, save for the ground, could reflect as well as in any other mirror, it was rare and beautiful experience.

However, it was not my final goal. I did not come here to ponder reflections of myself. What had my interested, first and foremost, was the vertical pool of light at the end of the cave. It stood there, glowing a bright blue, no doubt filled with many luminous plankton. However, the true wonder is how the water was vertical.

It stood like a disk on its edge, curving inwards with the flow of water. It was a portal, a door to someplace different, someplace yet to be explored. I planned to find out it this myth was true. I held high hopes, because it took years to find the cave and to be rewarded with the sight of the portal, my chances were looking good.

I approached the portal with caution, but the cave wasn’t having it. Receiving a panicked warning from the techy, I soon discovered the water was rising, grabbing at my feet and trying to pull me out of the cave. I wasn’t about to let the supernatural stop me, so breaking free of its grasp I ran towards the portal. Water shot into the cave faster than possible to try and stop me, I felt it restrict some movements as it clung to me.

However, it failed in its intentions and I met the blue water with splash. What I discovered next was that water behind me had subsided, the portal had disappeared. Broken, returning to the puddle it once was and losing its glow. Without this light the cave became dark and I used a diving glowstick to help light the way.

Nothing had changed, I was still in the cave. Seeing no further reason to stay inside the cave, I collected my thoughts and left. Dropping back into the water, I swam back under the lip and broke the surface of the ocean once more.

The first difference I spotted was that it was night. Having dove during the middle of the day, finding the sky go from blue to black left me speechless. Speaking of speechless, when I tried contacting the techy there was no response. I decided to push forward, swimming back to shore and towards the booth. There was no booth. Everything man made was non-existent.

It took me a day or two walking towards home across grass to find the words. I was in a reality where everything that man had done didn’t exist. More so than that, the world was silent. The trees still flowed in the wind, the sticks still snapped beneath my feet, but there was no hum of insects. There were no chirps of birds.

I’m not a survivalist, so after those two days of walking I was ready to collapse. However, in this new, sunless world, I wondered how the plants could grow. Everything was cold to me, ready to die, but the plants seemed to thrive in it. I will admit now that when the time came for it, I began taking berries off of plants and eating them.

Too much of anything, no matter how good for you it is, can make you sick to your stomach. However,, those berries were not healthy for me and writhing in such pain believing I was going to die didn’t help me either. I threw up the poison feast and laid there on dirt, weak and pathetic.

I had lost myself in a world that I was not prepared for. A cold dimension where the plants wouldn’t even burn to provide me with warmth. A world built on death and poison. It was no wonder all was silent. Binding myself in what I could find, warming myself with my own body heat, I made the slow walk back to the sea.

Thoughts of death loomed in my pained mind. To be starved and thirsty to such an extent was a punishment I could not wish upon my worst enemy. Still, I finally reached the tide and my mind was fighting to stay conscious.

Shuffling over to the tide, I felt the water lap against my feet and I waited. My spirits was being tested and found to be broken. I gave into fear not long ago and now I only waited for my suffering to end. I was ready to let the land of Death take me. Death did take me soon after.

I felt a tug on my shoulder from cold fingers and I closed my eyes, welcoming the void.

“Wake up!” someone yelled into my ear. “Wake up, damnit!”

My body was assaulted with first pounding fists, beating the water out of my lungs. I coughed the water up in pain to find blue sky, warm light and the techies fat face hanging over me.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“What happened?” I asked through sputtering coughs.

“I told you about the change in water, you went silent and a minute later I saw you wash ashore,” the techie explained as he wiped his face. “I thought you were a goner for a moment.”

I stared out at the cave, my memories of the Deathly world still intact, as if they were real. Perhaps, they were.

“I was gone…” I murmured as he guided me over to my car to drive me home.

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